Particular Love
by Never-Forget-Never-Forgive
Summary: French traduction of "Amour particulier".


**Particular Love**

**Hi! So that's my first Fic on that book... I know the paring is a little bit strange, but it's because at first I didn't know Mrs Coulter was Lyra's mother, I thought they could be cute together... So in that Fic... Lyra isn't Mrs Coulter's daughter! Hope you'll like it. ( The fic is also in French if you want)**

Mrs Coulter just went in her bedroom to sleep. After a big day of studying, I'm also exhausted. Pan is laying down in the pocket of my long black skirt. He transformed in a small mouse, and he's now enjoying the warmth of my thigh. He's still changing form because I'm only 13 years old.

Yet, since two years, my body changed a lot. My hips grew larger, my breasts grew bigger. Mrs Coulter followed those changes with interest, buying me new clothes for my new body. I passed to young girl clothes... to young woman clothes. Colorful pants and large t-shirts were quickly replaced by long skirts and adjusted blouses.

I'm not complaining! Oh no! People are looking at me, now. They whistle while seeing me in the street. However... it surely is because of Mrs Coulter! She's a superb woman...

She is tall and thin, but still has wonderful curves. Her breasts seem round and firm, her hips very small. Her skin is pure white, her hair are blond.

Why do I detail her that much? Only because she's a pretty woman. Yeah, that's it.

Pan is moving. He wants to go to sleep and I can feel his tiredness. My eyes tingle and I have to hold on with both hands not to rub them. I first put mascara today, and frankly, if I rub my eyes, it's going to flow on my cheeks. Ok, I lied. It's Mrs Coulter who applied it on my eyes. She was so soft with me...

I close my eyes to the memory of her face so close to mine. Even at that distance, I didn't see any wrinkles, any white hairs or imperfections. It impresses me always as much to know that this woman is only 35. And still not married! Although I've never seen a man in the house! There's only her and me... And our daemons, of course.

I'm slowly returning to reality. I was lost in my thoughts again. I have to stop thinking to her.

I quickly walk on the ground floor and turn off all the lights, as well as the Christmas tree ones, reluctantly. Tonight, it's Christmas. Mrs Coulter gave me a weird piece of cloth, that I'm wearing now, under my small black blouse.

She called that a _corset_. Pretty uncomfortable, except if we like being tight in our clothes. I touch the top of one of my breasts, enhanced by the red blood corset. It's firm under my finger, but if I push too hard, it goes down. Weird... Why did she offer me a cloth like that?

I didn't have any idea for her own gift! I found a perfume that I liked, and I told myself that it should be great on her. Well, she was really happy! I'm so glad...

Even if it was Christmas, we progressed a lot in our researches! I love learning things with Mrs Coulter. It's always very instructive.

I finished to turn off all the lights. I climb the stairs slowly, my footsteps come with a long yawning who only ends when I arrive in front of Mrs Coulter's bedroom.

The door is mid-open. Only from a decade of centimeters. I take a look inside, but I'm not sure what to do next. I see her naked back, and I jump back on the stairs' banister. A few moments sooner, and I saw her fully naked! This idea should have embarrasses me... But it only increases my curiosity a little bit more. I bit my lips, and I give up.

I start walking to my own bedroom slowly, and I hear a door creaking. She must closes her door, I sigh. But I'm mistaking. Her soft voice comes to confirm me that, indeed, I was wrong. She didn't close her door; she opened it.

- Lyra? calls Mrs Coulter.

I turn quickly. She is standing a few meters from me. She's wearing a pale pink nightgown, rather transparent. I try to focus on her face, and on nothing else. I come closer.

- Yes? I answer politely.

She seems nervous. I've never seen her like that. She twists her hands, looks at her feet. What does she want to ask me that embarrasses her that much?

- Do you want to sleep with me?

It was asked in one breath, an inaudible murmur. Why does she want to sleep with me, for goodness sake! She can't do that! I will refuse, of course!

- Yes, why not? I hear myself answer.

How stupid I am! She's smiling now! Shit!

I smile back to her, what else could I do? Mrs Coulter makes a sign, like if I have to follow her. I do it, walking more quickly this time. We can see that I'm pressed in my footsteps. But why? What should I except? With her, I can consider all the options.

Her daemon is at her feet, he looks at mine with interest. Pan snubs him while walking across him and entering the bedroom with me... THE bedroom!

It's white all over the place. The walls are a pure white, the floor and the ceiling are as perfect as them. A big fur carpet take place in front of a white marble fireplace. The curtains are also white and transparent. The bed is enormous and takes about half the place in the room. The bedspread, white again, seems welcoming and comfortable. I feel an irresistible need to sit on it, but it will be like saying yes to her. And I don't want to. Well...

She smiles to me and goes to close the door but stops her hand in the air, to replace it on her thin waist.

- Darling? I absolutely need to talk to you in private. Do you think that Pantalaimon could follows my daemon outside? It won't hurt you, I swear, they will only be on the other side of the door.

- Yeah, yeah.

Pan seems frustrated. He hates letting me alone, and it's the same thing for me. But he knows that I don't want to hurt him, so he gently follows the gold monkey outside the bedroom, with a last look at my smiling face. The pretty woman closes the door softly.

Mrs Coulter comes closer. I feel strange, my hands are shaking.

- You wanted to talk to me about something?

- Indeed, my angel, I wanted to talk to you. Maybe you asked yourself why I didn't have men in my life?

- A little, yes...

- Oh, you don't have to be ashamed, I assure you! I only want to explain to you that, in life, there's women who... aren't attract by men.

- Is that bad? I ask while thinking at the way that I detailed Mrs Coulter for almost a year.

- Not at all! On the contrary... That's why you will never see men in the house. I only love women.

- Oh...

- Don't be mad! I just wanted you to know, if one day you see a woman coming out of my room, don't be surprise.

This thought makes me uncomfortable, and makes me a bit... jealous, I have to admit. She walks closer to me, puts her hand on the curve of my waist, even more thin because of the corset she gave me.

- I wanted to make sure you were... comfortable with the idea of living in the same house as a woman... like me.

- Yes, of... of course, I mumble while feeling the red on my cheeks.

Her hand isn't still anymore. She caresses my back languidly, loses her hand under my blouse, probably hoping to find naked flesh to touch...

- Ah? I see that you put your corset.

- And I smell you wear the perfume that I gave you...

I guessed it since a while. She probably puts some drops in the crook of her neck, the smell seems to come from here. I press my body on hers, I feel her breathing fastening. I pose delicately my nose on her fine neck and breath slowly. Then, I look at her again.

- Show me how to do it...

- Do what, darling?

- How to make love... How to make love to you...

She really is surprise. How beautiful she is... Her face suddenly seems sad, like if she's thinking to something she doesn't like.

- Lyra, go away please.

I don't talk, but I take her face in my hands and force her to look at me.

- Why are you crying?

- Because I love a young woman who'll never love me back.

- That is not to you to decide!

I press my lips on hers and move clumsily. She's surprise, but still answers to my kiss, sliding her hands around my waist, approaching me from her body.

Then, I realise that I'm really shorter than her. My face is in front of hers, but she's sitting on the bench. Even if the bench close to the window is pretty high, I know she's taller than me. I break the kiss and I press my face on her pale and soft shoulder.

She slowly caresses my ass cheeks, makes me jump. Does she want the same thing as me?

- Are you sure and certain of you, Lyra? You only lose your virginity once and I... I often regret to have made love too soon, with the bad person. Don't reproduce my mistake, I'm begging you.

- How could I be wrong with you?

She takes her hand off my ass cheek, tenderly touching the right side of my face.

- Well. Take off your clothes.

- So... sorry?

- Let me do it, then...

While unbuttoning my thin blouse, she kisses my neck lovingly. It feels so good. I can't even describe the sensation; it's unique. She took the corset off, I didn't even notice because her kisses were so perfects. She touches my left breast with the tip of her long finger. She seems fascinated in front on my skin. Mrs Coulter slides her hands around my body, unfastens my shoes, takes off my silk sockets, caresses my thighs. I stop myself from screaming in pleasure when she puts my long skirt on the floor. She poses her head on my belly, arms wrapped around my body who only wants her. Her breathing tickles me, it's an extremely pleasant feeling. I put both of my hands on her head, caressing delicately her neck. A last kiss on my belly, and she takes off my purple panties. I'm blushing, now.

She passes an expert hand on the soft pile of my sex. She raises up. No! She was so close... My heart was beating so fast! But she takes my hands softly, slides them under her nightgown. I'm hesitating. And I take my hands off, put them on her naked shoulders. I lower the thin braces, the nightgown falls on the floor with a cute noise. Her breasts are like perfects balls, rounds and made of satin. We can guess the texture, just by the look of it. I'm dying to touch them. But I don't dare. She takes one of my hand and guides it on her breast, in a sign of encouragement. I let go a small cry. Her breast is frozen!

- Mrs Coulter! You're frozen! Are you cold?

- A bit, my heart. But don't worry, I'm strong!

She laughs, but I can see her shivering.

- Wait a moment...

I catch a small blanket made of white velvet, and wrap her body with it. She breaths out of comfort.

- Come with me, we'll be warmer under the blankets.

We go in the warm and white sheets, but a kind of discomfort arrives. What do I need to do? I turn back to her. I quickly feel her smooth breasts crash on my back, her left hand is on my belly and her head in the crook of my shoulder.

- Do you still want it?

- Yes, I say in a murmur.

I turn myself to face her, she kisses me slowly. Her mouth does a pretty sound when it touches mine. She entwines her legs with mine, presses her sex on mine with a small move of her hips. She breaks the delicious kiss, but continues it on my neck... On my breasts, between my breasts... She goes down on my belly, nearer and nearer to my sex... whom she's avoiding carefully, taking care of my thighs. She is under the blankets, I only see a silhouette who's moving in the dark, with sometimes the golden shine of her hair who appears.

Then, she passes to the act. She pushes two agile fingers inside me, tender and delicate, but still rough enough to make me cry out my pain when she takes my virginity. She takes them off immediately, and climb up at my sides.

- Oh God, Lyra! Did I hurt you?

I shake my head, hardly containing my tears who could easily fall all over my cheeks. How can something so good is so hurtful at the same time? She takes me in her arms, her face between my breasts.

- I'm so sorry...

- It's not important... Do you have a trick to ease pain? I ask timidly.

- Yes, but I can't assure you anything...

She slides her hand under the sheets, touches my sex and slowly massages it. Her moves are attentive, and the massage helps me forgetting the pain for the moment. She stops after a while, letting me resting on her, this time.

- I'll do better next time, she whispers with her sleepy voice.

I fall asleep before her, I'm sure, because I feel her hand in the end of my back, comforting presence. I also hear her humming a sweet and calming song...

**Well, that's it, that's all. Hope you like it, NicoleKidmanFanxD ! Do not hesitate to leave a review ;)**

**AB xxx **


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